03 Jan 10 Ways To Cope With Trying To Conceive When Everyone Else Already Has
Since the moment that you started trying to conceive, did it seem as if all you saw were babies, bumps, and infant clothes and toys? That is a familiar feeling for a lot of women and no matter how hard you try, it doesn’t go away just because you want it to. Here are some ideas that you can use to help keep yourself from feeling down and out and like everyone else is getting exactly what they want except for you.
- 1 Go ahead and have a good cry
- 2 Don’t go to that baby shower
- 3 Enjoy the free time that you have now
- 4 Don’t compare your story of trying to get pregnant to other women’s tales
- 5 Try to the ignore comments that some people are thoughtless enough to make
- 6 Join a group or community with the same issues
- 7 Be aware of how long it can really take a woman, any woman, to get pregnant
- 8 Don’t blame your husband or partner
- 9 Don’t set a timeline
- 10 Keep yourself in good health, both physically and mentally
Go ahead and have a good cry
Now, don’t overdo it, but let yourself feel the emotions that you’re feeling, instead of trying to stuff them down inside and ignore them. It’s one thing to try and stay strong, but it’s entirely another to try and be so strong that you begin to build up an avalanche of emotions that at one time or another are simply going to come out. So, instead, take the time to get your feelings out, but just try to limit yourself to a short period of time and not let it go on forever. And afterward, try and do or think of something positive, even if it’s just something small, the positive feelings will help.
Don’t go to that baby shower
Some women feel that just because they are having difficulty getting pregnant and feeling low, that this still doesn’t give them the right to ignore an event of someone who is already pregnant, like a baby shower. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you are going to a baby shower, than that more than likely means it is a friend of yours. And if that is the case, your friend is probably already aware of the difficulties you’re going through and will completely understand if you can’t make it to her shower. Call and explain your feelings, send a gift and don’t feel guilty. Everyone has their limits.
Enjoy the free time that you have now
Because once you do finally get pregnant, you won’t have any. Take the time to have that romantic dinner with your husband or partner, take a vacation, go shopping, or just plain relax. And that way, once that little one does come into your life, you will have done all those things that you won’t have the chance to do for many years to come!
Don’t compare your story of trying to get pregnant to other women’s tales
Even if it seems as if they got pregnant with the greatest of ease compared to how difficult it is for you, don’t be too certain. After all, things are definitely not always what they seem, and it is not a competition. Comparing yourself to others will only drive you crazy.
Try to the ignore comments that some people are thoughtless enough to make
Even if it is a friend or family member, some people just do not think before they speak. Also, if it is someone else who has gone through a similar experience, they often think that they can “help” you by giving you advice. But what they don’t realize is that it is not only incredibly annoying to hear these “helpful comments”, but can also be extremely hurtful. Try to explain this to people nicely but firmly and keep a positive attitude.
Join a group or community with the same issues
One thing that is very important to remember in this situation is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Discussing your problems with other women who are in the same situation, or having similar issues to yours, can be extremely helpful. But remember, talk to women who are going to be helpful and who are positive, otherwise your stress level will get worse instead of improving.
Be aware of how long it can really take a woman, any woman, to get pregnant
For instance, only around 30% of couples actually conceive within a three month period. The average time period for conceiving a child is around 8-12 months, and sometimes even longer. And this is for couples who don’t even have any real problems. Remember, timing is everything.
Don’t blame your husband or partner
When trying to conceive a child, it can become very stressful, very quickly, if you don’t get immediate results. It can also make you want to lash out at the people who are closest to you, namely, your husband or partner. Remember, they want the same thing you do, and it is no one’s fault. Even the most healthy and fertile of couples only have a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant with each cycle. Also, don’t get upset with your partner if they aren’t reacting to the situation in the same way that you are. It doesn’t mean they aren’t frustrated; it’s just that each person has their own way of dealing with things. Some people are very vocal and others keep it inside, but everyone reacts differently.
Don’t set a timeline
If you think to yourself, “Wow, this time next year, there will be three stockings hanging from the mantel at Christmas time!” you are just going to set yourself up for disappointment and make it that much harder to deal with the amount of time it takes you to conceive. Stay happy and positive but try not to get TOO ahead of yourself.
Keep yourself in good health, both physically and mentally
Remember, the reason you are having difficulty getting pregnant can be a physical problem, but it can also be a mental problem as well. The more stressed you are, the harder it is for your body to relax. Stress can also run you down so much, that you start to get things like colds, viruses, etc., much more easily, because your resistance is low, making it even more difficult to try and get pregnant. Try to take good care of yourself, eat healthy, keep up with your doctor’s appointments and above all else, rest and relax.
Just remember, no matter how many problems or difficult situations you may go through, there is always hope. Try to keep positive, healthy and as stress-free as possible. And never forget that no one person is exactly the same, we’re all different, we’re all special and we all have our own timeline.